Where to stay in sin city

Excalibur Hotel and Casino / MGM Grand

It’s a tie! The lot of you who are more budget conscious or, like me, would prefer to spend your money on the pokies and tables, I’d check out either of these two options. Look, it’s not like you’re actually going to spend that much time cooped up in your hotel room, so if you’re partying the night away, it doesn’t really matter where you’re staying.

The Mandarin Oriental, Las Vegas

Classic choice! Not only is this one of the best hotels around but it’s also located at the heart of the Vegas Strip, meaning you’ll be at the centre of all the action. Now while the hotel doesn’t have its own casino, it’s famous for its cozy boutique feel – perfect for when you’re strung out after an evening of epic proportions and need some downtime to recover from paralyzing existential angst or what I like to call, one mother of a hangover.

Wynn Las Vegas

Ask me about the time I wandered into the Wynn in nothing but my modesty and a bottle of Jameson. Actually, don’t. I’d rather not talk about that. What I can tell you is that the service is excellent; they’ll practically tuck you in. Sure, it’s expensive but you’re paying for an experience and it’s a great bloody one at that. From the first class Andrea’s fine dining resto to its very own classy casino, the Wynn’s got everything your sinful little heart could ever desire.

Bellagio Las Vegas

If you’re not staying here you’re going to end up here anyway because the Bellagio is just one of those superb, hallmark pit stops every Vegas-goer needs to check out. With a lavish casino in the style of Monaco and glass-decorated lobby by one of my all-time artists, Chihuly (look him up, you damn philistine), the Bellagio is a veritable gambling Mecca and a goldmine of entertainment.